Strangers visit Middle Earth
by Dauntless
Summary: Please read and Review. Strangers in Middle-earth? Who are they. They look weird. Whe'red they come from. What's with the hair? Anime rocks!
1. Default Chapter

My story takes place in Middle Earth of course. But there's one twist, (ok, maybe it's all twisted…) (Ok I'll give you a hint, a very popular anime character) meets Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took.  
  
"Ok," said Merry. "I'm ready!" Pippin came at him with a swing at his head. Merry seemed able to block all of Pip's attacks. The clanging of their weapons echoed throughout the fields and hills of The Shire. Finally, Pippin struck Merry's sword and found a moment to raise his own to Merry's neck. "I win again, said Pippin. Ha! Two out of three…now you have to clean my clothes for me! And trust me, if it wasn't for drinking too many pints and the bar two nights past, they wouldn't be too bad!"  
"That's not fair!" Meriadoc grumbled! "You have a lighter sword than I do, and plus, you're younger and fitter! You have an unfair advantage. Get your ma to clean them! Yuck! What would King Elessar (Aragorn) say if he saw how you treat me? Injustice! This sickens me!" Hmph.   
Pippin simply laughed insanely! "So what! My clothes will sicken you worse! You just can't admit that I am a better fighter than you are! Besides, that new sword you got is too big and it looks stupid on you anyhow!"   
Merry grumbled. "Not as stupid as your face! Get a fix Pippin, sheesh!"  
Pippin laughed and started once again to mock in a singing fashion.   
"Merry Merry quite contrary,  
Can't even block my blow!  
He's not old,  
But I've been told!  
He can't even fight his foe" Pippin started skipping and pointing. Merry flushed with anger. How could I let this little nuisance tag along for this patrolling The Shire's borders? He thought.   
"Oh shut up Pippin…" They started walking back to their burrows as Merry started pondering a good comeback for his curly haired friend. Merry walked looking at the ground, stopped, picked something up and shouted "think fast!" A large horse terd landed right in Pippin's face! Splat "Ha, too slow … uh… er… you big fat toe! Ha! Take that rhyme!" Said Merry, smiling. Then all of a sudden…  
"Pippin, Pippin,  
Keep on skippin',  
Cuz I'll give you a smelly lickin'  
It's green or brown,   
Find it all around,  
On your face it's stickin' stickin' stickin!" Then …splat!… again with the poo!  
Hahahahaha You smelly Took!"   
Pip wiped the shit off his face, but decided not to retaliate, since he was after all a better fighter than Merry plus, despite Merry's insults, he did have a better looking face (and that's no shit!). Pippin remembered the days, before their big adventures in Gondor and Rohan, when they used to always have their "poo wars". Besides, Sam Gamgee was always asking for some manure for his gardening; it was always around. Now a day, they never had time for such things. They were usually too busy trying to rebuild parts of The Shire of chase of the last of those terrible people.  
"We better hurry you silly Took!" Said Merry "The day is getting late"   
A young voice from behind them said "A toque? Hey I have one of those at home! It's cool. Doesn't fit over my hair, though."  
The hobbits, who were very alarmed but curious (which is natural for these creatures), turned to see a young boy… dark spiky hair, strange features, very short…  
"Who are you and why are you following us?" Yelled Merry, who, increasing in h.m.s. levels (hobbit malicious syndrome), was glowing red.   
"Calm down Merry, please. You're starting to resemble a beet. Don't blow a gasket!"  
"Hey, ding-dong! REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME THERE WERE 'STRANGERS' ABOUT?" Merry took a deep breath.. and more calmly said… "besides I don't think you know what a gasket is."  
"Do you?" Said Pippin  
Merry didn't answer. The boy just stared.   
"Yes, well…" Merry said shrugging and looking back to the boy, "You'd better get home, or wherever you're staying, The Shire isn't the way it was; still not safe at night in places." Said the hairy little hobbit with a yawn. "Don't get into mischief either, stranger. We folk here are suspicious of newcomers. We'll be watching you; our eyes are everywhere!"  
"Ew" said the boy. "Ack! Are you an alien?"  
The hobbits ignored the strange kid and continued on their way. It was already dark out. What a waste of time they thought.  
"Smoke some weed and maybe it'll clear your head, Merry" Pippin soon suggested.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
For hobbits, weed is tobacco…  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Marijuana is illegal!" said the boy who was following "Don't you know that! I'll tell daddy on you, when I find him!"  
"…Mar-a-wan-a?…" Merry and Pippin said looking both puzzled and annoyed.  
"Weed, pot, bud, Maryjane. Y'know that green stuff. Are you guys dumb-asses or what?" Said the boy mockingly.  
"Merry-who?!…Hey weed isn't green and what does a pot have to do with it?" Asked Merry, as he tried to walk faster.  
"You are a DUMB ASSSS!! Muahahahaha! (evil insane laugh)"  
Pippin wrinkled his forehead in bewilderment repeating the boy's words…  
"d-duuumb assss?" Meanwhile, the boy was still laughing, now on the ground holding his sides. His face was now as red as Merry's. "Oh I get it!" said Pip "a donkey that can't speak right? Wow, I'm gonna remember that one. Ha!"  
This comment only enforced the boy's laughter.  
"Come, let us depart. He is mocking us!"  
  
Hey this is my first fic. I hope it'll improve (and that I can refrain from involving any cannibalistic elves…) Find out in the next chapter who the boy is… 


	2. A flight to Mirkwood

This chapter is kind of a rough start... don't expect it to follow the exact lore of LOTR, it's just my twisted viewpoint. I couldn't help it though, I mean Dragon Ball Z crossed with Lord of The Rings characters, Hehehehe.  
  
Chapter 2. "Wait," cried the boy "Sorry I made fun of you. I'm Gohan by the way and I need to take you somewhere. I was only kidding around!" "Greetings Gohan, I'm Pippin and this is Merry, however I don't know whether we should forgive your insults or not!" Soon though, Gohan smiled and picked up both Pippin and Merry with little effort. The hobbits didn't have time to draw their swords before Gohan kicked off from the ground. They were flying! The hobbits thought it safer to hold on to Gohan (instead of slicing off his head in mid-flight). Besides Pippin and Merry could only focus on holding in bodily fluids. He flew them across many mountains, far out of The Shire. Gohan was stronger than he looked! They had been flying for a while when they arrived near Mirkwood, where Legolas the elf greeted them. "We meet again hobbits. Ah, I see you have met Gohan! I sent him, incase you're wondering. Now lets get this over with Gohan!" Gohan ran up to the elf and tugged his braids; Legolas flinched a bit in pain and anger towards the little runt. "Weeeee" said Gohan "This is fun! I can't believe you agreed to this condition! Hahahaha" Then, making a Tarzan noise, Gohan tried to swing on one of Legolas' side braids. Aahhhhhhhh!! Thump, this brought the elf to the ground squishing the little Saiyan (which didn't seem to bother him). Legolas arose with a defiled, quite annoyed face, while Gohan pulled his pointy ears. Slurp, the next thing the elf knew, Gohan gave him a "Wet Willie!"(Something's not right about that name) with a slobbery finger. "EEEEEwww, that's disgusting! Awww!" Legolas wiped off the inside of his ear. "That's enough Gohan. See here, if I wasn't so desperate to get the hobbits here quickly, I would have never agreed to such torment from you. Tell me hobbits, how was your journey?" Legolas walked up to them in his usual fashion, clad once again in an earthly green. This time though, it was a flowing robe; after all he was a prince. The hobbits were speechless, still. Gohan ran to Legolas "You promised, you promised!" Legolas reluctantly handed the Saiyan his bow. Gohan's face lit with wonder; "Wow, I've never seen one of these in real life before." He pulled it's string and twang. it broke! Legolas' mouth dropped! "AAAAAAAHhhhhhhhh! You broke my elf bow you fool! It had sentimental value!" he said with a very hurt look. Legolas regained his cool and with a proud voice added, "luckily it wasn't the best bow I own! Go on fool, go find me Gimli the Dwarf!" Gohan apologized for the bow and went to find the dwarf. After the hobbits realized they hadn't suffered from heart attacks (what about insanity?) they entered the elf dwelling of Mirkwood, a cave. Gimli was there (whose stomach was being poking and whose beard was being pulled, despite his threats to Gohan.) Gimli almost split Gohan like firewood, when instead he pushed the kid aside. Gohan's ego wasn't damaged. The dwarf (who had put on weight) went to meet his friends. He gave the hobbits a giant hug; (though Pip's button got caught in his beard) the elves all laughed at him, which they always did to say the least. Gimli just grumbled after Pip had untangled his jacket button from the huge tufts of hair. King Elessar (Aragorn), Lady Arwen, Faramir, Eowen (who had also put on a lot of weight), Eomer, Glorfindel, King Thranduil (Legolas' father, King of the Woodland Realm) and several others elves were there. The hobbits then realized that there was another 'Saiyan', one with silver hair. He sat over in the corner of the Great Hall. An elf woman was talking with him; she was sitting really close, and smiling a lot. She even flipped her hair a few times. The man apparently called himself Trunks though he didn't look too happy about the clingy elf chick (he wasn't listening at all, he did glance at here once in a while; he was glad the bra wasn't invented yet). For a long time none of the company bothered explaining to the hobbits why or how the strangers got here, but Faramir did however explain why Gohan flew them to Mirkwood. "Merry, Pippin you see Leggy here." "Don't call me that!" the prince snapped (as Gimli tried to persuade him to have a drinking contest). "Sorry Legolas. Anyway, he sent for you. These two Saiyans arrived a few weeks ago. The flew many of these people to Mirkwood to save time. They will receive further rewards for their assistance I suppose. We got to know them and I was able to distinguish good values in both. How they got here is still a mystery." Faramir gave them the just of the situation, the Saiyans mysteriously entered Middle-earth through the mirror of Galadriel in Lothlorien (which was now almost empty. Galadriel and Celeborn and many others went to the Grey Havens). Also, the purpose of everyone meeting was that they were going to go on an Orc/balrog hunt, hopefully to finish off (or at least decrease the population of) the evil races. There was an army of men marching to Mirkwood and would arrive in a few days. Gimli was holding his goblet as usual, and it was plain to see he was having a good time. They were now seeing how far they could throw Gohan (he didn't injure easily and it was really funny seeing an orange flash fly across the room). Meanwhile, the young flirty elf girl looked crestfallen, as Trunks had gotten tired of her elf talk. Trunks, liking to throw people, grabbed Gohan and threw him with all his might. He went clear across the giant room, and made a huge hole in the stone wall. Soon though, he emerged, looking a little bruised. "Who said you could throw me Trunks! Non- Saiyans only!" Trunks smiled. All the others stood around in amazement of the new creatures (Gimli was especially astounded) "Wow, I bet you guys would make great stone carvers!" The night was filled with elf songs (really disturbing love songs mostly), jokes, food, wine (moonshine for the dwarf), and lots of elves dancing (which somewhat frightened Trunks and Gohan). Gohan whispered to Trunks "It looks like they trying to do the doesie doe, but they're really bad at it." "Yeah" replied Trunks "they look like fairies, and not in a good way." "Check this out everyone" Trunks yelled as he pulled out his mini disc man from his coat. "Get ready for some real music." Everyone crowded around with curiosity. Trunks let everyone take turns listening. I don't think they knew what was being said (maybe that's a good thing). The headphones were blaring, and everyone was in awe. Gohan couldn't help head banging, I mean, it was after all, the best metal band on the face of the earth! King Elessar and King Thranduil found the Saiyan dancing most amusing. "You should really consider a jester position, Gohan! Can you juggle?" said the King of Mankind. Gohan ignored the King (not a good idea, Gohan). King Elessar was getting impatient (even Arwen was too busy talking to King Thranduil.) "Hey" yelled Trunks "Lets play a little game! This won't be easy! Muahahahaha. Let's see what y'all can do!" "The Elf King nodded with approval." "This is how you play listen closely."  
  
End of Chapter 2. 


	3. The Drinking Game

Chapter 3. ".Ok, I am going to set up three bottles. We will work in rotation, the first person to knock down a bottle with this (holds up a very small dagger), chooses one opponent to chug one glass of wine. By the fifth round you must have knocked down at least one bottle or you are disqualified. The person who can walk a straight line by the end of 20 rounds is the winner. Also, you must stand back this far to throw." After some folks asked what disqualified meant, the game got started.  
  
(~Yeah, right like any of these Middle-earth people would actually do this, but hey, it's just a fic.~)  
  
"Lets get started then! Hehehe" "Wait what about me! I wanna play, I wanna play too Trunks. Let me play? Please! I really wanna play." "Gohan, you're too young to drink anyway. What would Goku say? You're mother would kill me!" "I won't tell! I won't tell! Dad gave me a taste of beer once!" "Uh, Gohan, I don't know, drinking is for." Legolas interrupted Trunks' excuses, "Let Gohan play, nothings wrong with a little wine, besides most likely people won't choose him to drink lots. I'm sure it'll be fine for this special occasion." (Legolas just didn't want Gohan snooping around his bedroom which was not, to say the least, suitable for a someone of his maturity level.) "Well, Ok but Gohan, behave yourself!" Gohan cackled evilly "We will go from tallest to shortest." "Dammit" complained Gimli "elves get all the advantages." Glorfindel, being the tallest stood back to throw. He took aim. The dagger just barely missed a bottle. Glorfindel looked a bit disheartened. "stupid game" he mumbled Next was Legolas. Legolas had great skill and aim, and most expected him to hit dead on, and he did, however the bottle remained standing. Since most elves aren't partial to drinking a lot of wine, there was only two playing. Also joining in the festivities was Eomer (Eowen's brother). He surprisingly hit the top of a bottle and caused it to fall. He laughed, and chose Gimli the dwarf (who was already fairly tipsy). Gimli stumbled to the table and slammed a glass of wine. Afterwards commenting on it's flavor. Soon enough it was Trunk's turn. "Yes!" he cheered himself on. I choose Legolas to drink! Legolas grabbed a goblet of wine and chugged it back (it dripped down, staining his precious robe, gasp!). The two Kings and their Queens simply sat back and watched all their subjects get drunk. Gimli tried to throw the dagger at first, forgetting to let go, almost stabbing himself with it. "Oops" he shouted. Surprisingly enough, he did get very close to hitting a bottle. Merry and Pippin were always up for a drink or two, though they preferred beer. They lived for these sort of games. The problem was, neither had the greatest aim and they would get drunk much faster. What a weird sort of drinking game, they thought. Pippin threw the dagger, his shot though was too low. "hmmm. dumb asses!" He commented, mimicking Gohan's words. Merry nicked a bottle but it didn't fall. Gohan was the last to throw, everyone watched to see if he would be able to do it. However, when he threw it a small blast of light followed the dagger, smashing a bottle to pieces. "I got one! See!" "Gohan you dip shit! I said no Saiyan powers. I saw that! Now you have to drink! Drink, drink, drink you cheating little dink!" he yelled. (Seeing how most of the others didn't understand modern-english insults, they weren't too shocked.) "It's not in the rules! You're just picking on me. You just made that up. You can't tell me what to do. Don't get your briefs in a bunch!" "Pssst" said Gimli "Come here little guy" Gohan came closer to the dwarf "It's a secret... (mumbled something in dwarfish)" as he spoke weird words Gohan felt the warm sticky alcohol breath on his little face. It made his eyes sting. The dwarf let out a belch, "Oh I'm sorry. Please excuse me," he added with a proud grin; his burp still echoing. "This is great" Gohan said as he tasted the wine. "You have to drink it as fast as you can Gohan, those are the rules! Hehehe, I gotta see this." Gohan took a deep breath and chugged the alcohol.  
  
The night continued for most of them in double vision. Eomer though wobbled, fell and laughed hysterically for a while. Gimli eventually passed out on the table, eventually all of them forgot they were even playing a game. "Dis game is ssoo coool.." commented Trunks "Trunkie is drunkie! Hahahaha" Laughed a wavering Glorfindel "So are you!" Soon enough the hobbits, the Saiyans, the elves (Legolas and Glorfindel) and Eomer wandered off into the dangerous Mirkwood forest (at night. sheesh, duh!). Luckily for them, elves aren't too stupid when drunk, plus the hobbits and Gohan were still somewhat sober. They spent the night wandering through dark woods and trying to keep Trunks in sight. The hobbits and Gohan tried to convince the group to turn back but even Legolas kept telling them not to be babies and that they were just going for a short stroll. Luckily though, the main spider nests are very deep into the forest, and after all a group of drunks don't travel too fast. They were having a great adventure!  
  
The next day Legolas woke them up. Apparently they weren't even very far from the cave entrance, some adventure. Trunks groaned and almost blasted the elf's ass for waking him. "Fuck off" he said and wished he could beat on someone. Gohan insisted that waking Trunks was not a good idea, but it was too late. Glorfindel and Legolas mysteriously seemed fine that day, no effect what so ever. Eomer, Trunks, and Gimli were all so very hung over. Eowen scolded Eomer that day during breakfast. They would begin their real journey, in two days. Speaking of which, the next two days were filled with talking, most revolved around the newcomers. They explained some of their customs, why they wore something called 'de- odourant', and what women were like where they came from (the place in which they always refused to name). They seemed very smart and they also gave a few Saiyan technique demonstrations, they even taught Legolas a little Karate. They became very popular, especially Trunks with the ladies. Elves had never seen someone with silver hair quite like his, they started calling him 


End file.
